The dentist was a piece of cake compared to last time. However they decided not to dig to China quite yet to get my wisdom tooth out…that will happen on the 18th. They fixed the tooth that was left partially exposed at no charge and changed my old fillings on the opposite side. Four needles and I was outta there in an hour.
It’s amazing how busy life gets and I think to myself ‘if I don’t blog about any of this soon I will have a book to write that I will never ever get to’. Thankfully I’ve learned to take each day in bits and chunks and perhaps that’s my key to not feeling utterly and completely beaten down most of the time.
I picked up our tickets for the circus next Tuesday. I’m so looking forward to taking the kids….this will be Ayden’s first time. I always felt he was too little and squirmy to sit through it before. But he is not a baby anymore. Okay, yes he is. My baby is wearing underwear to school now. I just want to pinch his chubby little hiney cheeks in those spongebob underwear, he looks so damn cute!
I took Devan to the doctor regarding his swollen cheek and get ready for this……it was oral herpes. I KNOW. Of course I know where he picked it up..in a classroom of 24 kids and a gagillion books and toys. Couple that with his newly developed habit and biting his fingernails when I’m not looking….vwalah. Extremely contagious. I threw everything of his in the wash and bought new toothbrushes (really need to look into some kind of mass ordering kids toothbrush thing online since I replace them so much). I use magic mouthwash on him and give him motrin. He’s much better but I have to watch for flareups. Our peds practice has a new pediatrician and I really like her. She’s extremely down to earth while incredibly knowledgable, informational and understanding at the same time. There are only two in the practice that I won’t take the kids to see so it’s nice to have someone else available that I can trust.
Father’s Day is approaching, usually a time I dread each year. But Ayden wished me a Happy Father’s Day the other day and while it sounds sad, it truly warmed my heart. Devan and Dana seem completely complacent about it and him altogether which is not surprising. He has not seen the kids since sometime before Easter and even then it was maybe once a month for a few hours. He stopped calling once every two weeks as well. He did call me two weeks ago to tell me he got a better job and he’s going to try harder w/ the kids…YADA YADA YADA.
Anyway….so last night Jeffrey was getting out of the tub and he called me in there after he got dressed and said to me “Daddy is probably never going to see me again.” Then he burst out crying. I pulled him into me and we sat on the bathroom floor and I hugged him and rocked him. I told him that was probably not true but that I know Daddy has been staying away for a long time. I said whatever reasons personal or not there was no excuse for it but to KNOW that it has absolutely nothing to do with him. I told him whenever he feels sad about Daddy or misses him to come straight to me because my arms will be open for hugs, that I love him and wish I could take the hurt away but the best thing I can do is love him and hold him. He was okay after that. I find it amazing how I choose my words so carefully w/ him regarding these situations. I want him to know and understand that I will always be here for him. I guess it kind of stuck w/ him today because when he got home from school I found a letter in his backback he wrote me in class. Here it is:
You can imagine how I felt reading that.
I’ve tried to make it a point not to talk too much on here about their father. I thought perhaps it wouldn’t be appropriate or I was being a better person by not doing that. But this is so much of why my relationship w/ my kids is what it is. And why I work so hard getting through daily struggles to come up for air every single day. I want my kids to not remember their childhood mainly by an absent dad but by happiness and laughter and a mother who never ever gave up. I want them to learn strength. Do I want to pull my earlobes down to ankles sometimes? Sure. I think any mom does but to build character and strong souls in my children…is MY job. I just need somewhere to vent. To let off the steam so I don’t boil over sometimes.
And last but not least..the latest household catastrophe. My baby girl Pippy Mandy Beagle dog came bumbling up the back steps got one of her claws caught in between the wooden deck slats. Ripped right off. The whole thing. So there was blood gushing everywhere, kids outside and Dana screaming “Mandy’s bleeding I DIDN’T DO IT!”. By the time I got the thing wrapped up in a towel and called the vet the sky went dark and wind started blowing. The vet wanted her right in and my sister was on her way. I took her in the pouring rain to the vets where the power was out and she was examined by a yummy smelling yankee candle. She got a shot of antibiotic and I have to give her pills twice a day. Then the vet leaned into me slowly, got close and whispered “you might want to think about a diet for your dog”. He’s lucky I didn’t clock him. Mandy is nine years old, fat and happy. We don’t even feed her scraps and she gets put in the bedroom during mealtimes. She is what she is and I’m not changing a thing. Hell, had it not been storming I might even have gotten her a happy meal after that comment.
Posted in animals, family, fun, gripe, grossities, health, kids, school, self-improvement
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